Suffering

Bad day.  It just really got me down that all my horses run away when I try to halter them.  Cal especially wanted nothing to do with me.

I've spent more just undemanding time with my horses in the past month than a lot people spend in the entirety of their time with horses in a year.  So many people have found success with Parelli...why can't I?  I feel like there's no one I can even talk to.  What are they going to tell me?  "Oh, look how amazing you already are!" or "Cal's just a really challenging horse." or "Maybe you just haven't spent enough time with him."  How does that help me?  I don't need to know how wonderful I apparently am...I need to know how I can change so that I can be better.  I'm so willing to be dedicated, work hard, be completely focused, do whatever it takes...but why does it have to hurt so much?!